Mind Infection Diversion Tactic #1: 10 Things That Crack Me The Hell Up

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I’m sick of hearing, thinking and talking about politics, the presidential candidates, the possible ruin of the United States, etc., yackity-smackityblahblahblah…

Instead, I decided to think of things that make me giggle like a 9-year-old girl.

 

1) People using the flashlight on their expensive-ass smartphone to navigate their living room because the electricity got cut off.

2) That chick at the club who KNEW that dress was way too short and she had way too much ass when she bought it but she know she cute…and then spends the whole night tugging and tugging and tugging at it.

3) Looking all over the damned house for your glasses…that you were wearing the entire time! The fact that you could see where you were going wasn’t a CLUE?!

4) Looking all over the damned house for your phone…while in the middle of a conversation on said phone. “…okay. Well, call me back when you find it.”

5) The fact that Zendaya has a song called “Something New” which is a from-the-ground-up mimic of “Creep” by TLC from 1994.

6) THIS

7) The word “trivet.”

8) Picturing the most hardcore-ass, savage-ass, thug-ass dude I can imagine…saying the word “puppy” with a straight face.

9) Omarosa being appointed Donald Trump’s Director of African-American Outreach…DAMMIT! I couldn’t even make it through this list!

10) Fuck it. We’re all doomed.

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